Strong Beyond the Barbell

Our bodies are ever changing. If your like me you can look one way on Monday and another by Friday. I feel the need to talk with you about being fat, feeling fat, looking fat, and everything in between. I need to voice my opinion as a mom, a woman in her late thirties, a wife, a friend, and an avid crossfitter. Remember this is only my opinion and thanks for reading.

1 year ago, I stepped on the scale weighing in at 165. I am 5’7 (for all those asking the question, hmmm I wonder how tall she is? ) A year prior I weighed in at 163. When I first started Crossfit that was my weight, so my 1st year of Crossfit I gained 2lbs. Oh God! I gained weight but my body shrunk. In my head I felt like I lost 20lbs, my body changed a lot. Then my second year of crossfit, my confidence increased, I was hungry to learn and to do more.I wanted & needed  to be in the gym, I asked a lot of questions and bothered a lot  of people.  For the past year I have been training 5x a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.  I’ve been on and off macros, trying to find the perfect balance between working out, resting, eating, socializing, raising 3 kids, and living normal daily life.

I’ve eaten a lot of salads and a lot of cupcakes.

So 2 years of Crossfit and here I am , I weigh 170lbs!! Yup you read that right, so much hardwork to have it all ruined by gaining weight. What a disappointment. I might as well call it a day, go back to eating lettuce and water, run on a treadmill for hours, starve myself ( you know you have all done it ). 2 years of Crossfit has done nothing for me, right? What a failure I am at 170lbs!

WRONG!!!

Hardwork is not defined by your weight, let’s be real it’s not even defined by the way you look! You are a work in progress. Just because I weigh more than you, have stretch marks ,have cellulite and love cupcakes does not mean I don’t work hard.

I have to be honest that I hate the number 170, and I hate that I hate it. Really, who cares what you weigh, I honestly don’t care what your weight is so why do I care what you think about mine. I would love to have that number be lower, who wouldn’t? But this is where I need to be honest with myself. That number has been lower, as much as 50lbs lower, and guess what?  Even then I still thought I was fat!!

So here’s WHY I love weighing in at 170:

I am celebrating 2years of Crossfit ( some people don’t come back after the 1st month bc they don’t think they are good enough, let me tell you-YOU are good enough )

I have surpassed 600 workouts of the day which means I have walked thru the doors of the gym 100’s of times. ( I have tracked every workout since day 1 Yup I’m proud of this and believe everyone should track their workouts )

I have never made an excuse to skip the gym.

I can do push-ups-REAL , like a man push-ups ( and a lot of them ).

I can do pull-ups! Yes real ones. No assistance, REAL, rip my hands pull-ups.

I can get my toes to touch the bar and my knees to touch my elbows.

I can Deadlift, squat, clean and snatch. ( & I do it with a smile on my face, I never smiled on the damn treadmill )

Last year, I  was still discovering my strength, this year I found it. I wear shorts in public, not because I look good but because I feel good about it. These legs work hard, and it’s damn hot out right now. I don’t care what your legs look like so why do I care what you think of mine?

I get it, at the end of the day, Crossfit is just exercise.

Really that’s all it is.   But for me,

It is exercise that has built my body to be strong,

It is exercise that has changed the way I look at women’s bodies, especially my own.

It is exercise that has encouraged me to love myself and know I am worth it.

It is exercise that inspires me to work hard , what I do in the gym, I carry over into life.

It is exercise that has shown me I am worth more then the number on the scale, I am worth more then the size of my jeans, I am worth more then the size of my shirt, I am worth more then my styled hair and lip gloss color, I am worth more then the pocketbook I carry or don’t carry, I am worth more then the salad I choose to eat and that cupcake.

I am worth more then the way I look.

It is exercise that gives me purpose and allows me to be Kelly.

Just Kelly.

Crossfit has shown me , I am strong beyond the barbell.

Thoughts on being fat

Thoughts on being fat.

Thoughts on being fat

Tuesday 4/14 Thoughts:

Please don’t tell me I don’t fight for it! Please don’t tell me it comes easy!

Someone I have great respect for is myself. Taking care of me has NEVER been a priority. EVER! Who wants to admit that?

Well here I am 38yrs old and I’m admitting it. There has always been someone better then myself. If we are really going to dive into this, I missed the window of opportunity for self love over 10yrs ago. I should’ve focused on loving myself and making myself the priority a decade ago!

When I got married my husband came first, he has since dropped to 2nd place. I have 3 kids who rule 1st.

So as women, where do WE fit in? Where do we rank ourselves?

We have children, husbands, friends, family, school, the list goes on. There was a point in my life where I had 3 kids under the age of 4. I also had a full time job, a serious illness, crazy hair, eyebrows that looked caterpillars, and my pants were anywhere from a size 16 on a skinny day to size 22. I lived on coffee and cigarettes were a luxury.

Everyday I had a smile on my face. I was exhausted, run down, looked like a crazy person that couldn’t find the time to shower, but I smiled. I smiled because this is what was happening at this moment in my life. I have 3 beautiful babies to care for. In the midst of chaos I will always smile and tell you that my life is perfect.

So back to being a woman and finding time to love ourselves? During these years of chaos, I am a great mom, a good wife, yet I am not good to myself. Who the hell has time for that? We are always the 1st to put ourselves on the bench.

Fast forward to the present, the chaos has calmed. I have found time to find me. Sounds dramatic, yeah I know. Hence the reason I write a blog and we don’t discuss this over coffee or in therapy.

Back to what I originally wrote, please don’t tell me I don’t work hard or fight for it. A few people have commented to me that ” I was never fat! ” Um, hello I was huge! Beast like!

It’s not about being ” fat ” it’s that in that moment I just lost myself. I didn’t have time to care about me because I have a family to take care of.

That’s not a bad thing.

Come on ladies! Haven’t we all been “fat”?

For me,  being fat wasn’t me eating ice cream and binging on potato chips, it was being an incredible mom, a devoted wife, and an awesome friend. Not to toot my own horn, but being fat meant that I was many things to many people but in that chaos I forgot all about me.

I will never judge another’s ” way of life”. What might send you off the edge may be normal life for me and vice versa,  so as women why are we judging?

About 2 yrs ago I decided I was done with being “fat” I was done with getting sick, I was done with the chaos! I had no control over so many things and needed to find control somewhere! Anywhere!

I was done with trying to not be fat on my own, I needed help. I needed support. I found Crossfit, so many obstacles to jump thru, but I did it. In finding Crossfit, I found me.

I may never share the whole truth to my discovery but with each blog entry perhaps I will share another piece of the puzzle. So my fight is real! I have never been naturally skinny , or naturally in shape. I spent years being fat, years being chaotic, being sick, and years LOVING my family, forgetting to love myself.

38 yrs old I have discovered that mindset is everything and your body will catch up. I am still learning how to do it all. How to be a good mom, how to be a good wife, how to be a good friend, how to be the best version of me!

I am not the fat lady I was yesterday BUT that lady I am proud of, I have respect for her. She is a part of me I carry close. The strong woman remains to be caught. However looking back, pieces of her have always been there, always remain. I am striving today to be  better then yesterday and continue my chase tomorrow.

Strength simply can’t be defined. Whether your fat, or not, strength comes from within.

It is your choice if you will chase it.

Experiencing the Open: 15.5 The Truth Part 3

If your reading this- thank you!

Now go read Part 1 & Part 2 then come back.

Closing out the open.

Saturday 3/28 in the gym:

I completed 15.5 yesterday am with a time of 15 minutes. Disappointed with my performance I wanted to redo the workout an hour later but didn’t. Then later the same day returned  to the gym to try it again. No luck.

So here I am, back in the gym for the 4th time to have another go at this workout.

15.5 is the 5th workout in the Crossfit open. It consists of a 27 calorie row, 27 thrusters, 21 calorie row, 21 thrusters, 15 calorie row, 15 thrusters, 9 calorie row, 9 thrusters. For men the weight is 95lbs, for women the weight is 65lbs.

I drop my 500 lb sandbag at the door so that I may enter. I catch George’s eye as I walk past. We nod.

Here come my excuses: My adrenaline isn’t fully amped. My legs & arms feel sore, more so my arms. My anger still remains at an ultimate high and my nerves have my hands shaking. I can’t even really speak without losing my breath.

I know I am being silly at this moment. It’s just a workout, it’s just an exercise. No one could really care less if you actually do this workout again or not. No one cares about your score and no one is judging you. These are all true statements.

Then I remember the woman I was yesterday, the woman I am now, and the woman I want to become.

This workout, this moment in time is going to define it for ME. So even though no one else gives a crap and sees my inner turmoil. I see it, I have it and I will be damned if this workout is going to take anything away from me.

I can either remain the woman of yesterday that finished with a score of 15 minutes, OR I can seize this moment, this NOW and chase the woman I want to become.

I am up for the chase.

Pep talk with George. He talks, I listen. I talk, he listens.

Coach me thru this, don’t let me fail. Don’t be nice to me, be stern. Don’t push me gently, shove me! This is when I am not able to push myself and I need someone else to shove me.

I am standing at the edge of the cliff, I am scared to jump so I give you permission to push me off.

Pressure on!

I am as ready as I’m going to be, I puff my inhaler and the clock starts.

Rowing, thrusters …… I am already regretting my decision to do this workout again. I want to quit, literally. How embarrassing to even admit but I wanted to stop. I shouldn’t of felt that defeated only a few minutes into the workout.

Somehow I dug deep and found myself again. All I could hear was George counting.

On the rower I closed my eyes. I had to continue to tell myself to keep moving and not stop. I never looked at George or anyone else in the gym the whole time. I didn’t want to see multiples again and I didn’t want to lose focus.

At one point with my thrusters, I felt like my life was sucked out of me, the barbell just fell I don’t even remember letting it go, my arms just gave out.

Nearing the end, George says ” you need to pick up the pace ”

I think I said ” F*** ” if I didn’t say it out loud it’s definitely what I said to myself. Though I’m pretty sure I said it , ALOT!

Final thrusters. My eyes are closed. I don’t even know what time is on the clock but I do know I have 9 thrusters and this is over.

I do 4 all in a row. Drop the bar.

I do 3 more, drop the bar.

I pick up the bar quick, I close my eyes and bang out my last 2.

I drop the bar and drop to the floor.

Room is spinning and I am ready to throw up. I need to catch my breath and everything hurts.

I possibly blacked out. When I come too, when I can get up off the floor. I make my way to George, people are cheering & he looks happy….

” So did I do it? ”

” yup 14:46″

All I hear is ” You won the lottery! ”

Yeah I did. I took a chance. I’ve made this huge investment in myself this past year and a half. No one else, just me. Every minute has been worth it.

I’ve encountered failed attempts, after failed attempts. But I have learned from all my failures, learned how to regroup, learned how to be stronger, learned that bc I am not able to do it today does not mean I won’t be able to do it tomorrow.

I took a chance. On me.

15.5 the second time was MY chance. If I had given that effort the 1st time I would’ve finished that workout well under 15 minutes. But to finish that workout the 2nd time at 14:46, it speaks volumes to me.

I am my own person. I know who and where I want to be. I know what I need to do to get there. It’s not a race, it’s a journey. It’s a process.

That workout was either going to make me or break me.

I’m not ready to be broken.

 

 

 

Experiencing the open: 15.5 The Truth: Part 2

If you haven’t read my previous blog entry, ( part 1 ) you need to go do that.

Go ahead- do it now- I will wait.

Ok so you read part 1? You read how I did 15.5 this morning and now here I am back in the gym on Friday 3/27 at 7pm to do it again.

Oh good!

Im back!

I’m back to greet 15.5 for the 2nd time and call it a day. Not that easy.

George tells me he knows my mind is ready but my body can’t be. I need to rest! Right now my body is actually feeling good. The soreness has not hit, my mind is determined, anger level at max, and craziness of even wanting to do this workout again is at an all time low. Yup I’m in a good place!

As my coach, I trust this guy. I used to think he was nuts and there was no method to his madness. Anyone who has had a coach, or a trainer, I know you can relate to these feelings. The initial feelings of thinking this person is surely out to kill you. Then as your relationship grows you realize this person is out to help you succeed, they are out to make you the better version of yourself. After all isn’t that what coaches are for? Yes this is the job of the coach- but in this moment I want to throw a temper tantrum. He said no this morning and now he’s saying no again. I am like a teenager right now negotiating with my Dad why I should be allowed to go to the party. But he keeps saying no and I keep saying ” but…but…but..”

I throw myself on the ground. Feet kicking, arms wailing. Full blown temper tantrum. Surely this mature act of reasoning will work. This plays out briefly in my mind, & I realize rolling around on the floor will only bring me back to feeling like a fat slug again. So I get up off the floor, dust myself off and listen to what George has to say.

Part of that coach-athlete relationship is: they talk, we listen. We decide I can go to the party! But I can’t go to the party on Friday night with all my friends. I can attend the party tomorrow afternoon after a good nights sleep.

When I leave the gym I carry a 500lb sand bag on my back- and it just sits there- all night and all the next morning. Until I’m back at the gym Saturday afternoon.

I’m able to to drop the weight off my shoulders and leave it at the door. Headphones on, stretching again.

Getting angry while being calm to have another go at 15.5!

Experiencing the Open: 15.5 The Truth: Part 1

I started tracking my workouts from the very 1st one, over 500 wods ago! I keep a notebook, an album on my phone and my Instagram is full of my Crossfit moments.

When I registered for the open , 5 weeks ago, I knew I needed to track this experience with writing it all down. Not even so much for others to read but to simply share with myself , to have something in writing for later. Something I can read next year when I do the open again. So in writing this blog, it has been fun…. Until now.

Until now because writing about yourself isn’t an easy task when the truth is something you don’t want to admit, or share. I don’t want to share it with others and I certainly don’t want to admit it to myself.

I have been honest in all my writings but being honest with 15.5 is just difficult. I have literally written draft after draft about this workout.

A workout that occurred over a week ago and I still haven’t found the words to describe. At this moment I deleted all the drafts I wrote and here it is:

I’m closing out the open!

The morning of Friday 3/27:

I’m literally scared to do this workout. I have serious self doubt about finishing it, serious doubt about myself as an athlete and I really just want to throw in the towel. This is so hard to admit bc I believe in the power of positivity. I am always super positive and live my life in each moment. When I’m in the gym, nothing walks thru that door with me from “my life” I’m there to workout and enjoy it , with no distractions.

I always want to encourage others and see them succeed. I take pride in that and I just honestly love this sport and the people that make it happen.

But this morning, I have a lot of “life” on my plate, a lot of “life” left at the door and I have a serious workout to get thru. With my headphones on, I stretch and try to calm myself.

I get to judge Luis. He’s a young guy, super strong with the biggest smile you can imagine. His smile is calming me.

Then our coach yells go, with my clipboard in hand and Luis on the rower, he begins. Rowing thrusters, rowing, thrusters, ……..FREAKING !! Not Luis, me!

I can literally see pain on Luis’s face and the puddle of sweat on the floor is getting bigger. My motherly instinct wants to wipe the sweat off his face and tell him it’s going to be ok but I continue counting. He finishes, he finishes with an 11 minute time or so. I’m not sure who’s more excited that’s it over , myself or Luis. That calming smile returns but I saw the anger! I need to get angry to get thru this one!

And I’m up! I’m on the rower, here we go!

Water bottle and inhaler next to me.

George ( my judge & coach ) yells go…….

Rowing-thrusters-rowing-

I honestly don’t remember much, I could only hear George’s voice counting for me and giving me that reassurance that I was moving at a good pace.

Getting off the rower I lose my breathing and need my inhaler. I remember being more concerned about the time I was losing rather then the fact that I couldn’t breath. I should’ve taken the inhaler before the workout started.

I glance at George & see 5 of him,  there were other girls on the floor cheering me on and when I glanced at them, they too were multiples! I look at the clock & think

” holy crap, I can do this in less then 15mins ”

I move as fast as I can in this moment, with my last thruster I look at the clock 14:59 so I thought, George called 15 minutes. I dropped the bar and yelled ” F***” This is comical to me now but in the moment I was mad. I definitely used the F word a few times during this workout. I really do try my hardest not to casually curse, but extreme conditions call for extreme language.

If I finished at 14:59 I think I would’ve been happy with how I did. All the past workouts I was happy with my performance. I didn’t need nor did I have any desire to re-do them. For everyone that did re-do workouts I actually thought you were nuts! Just being honest here. I mean come on! I’m not standing on a podium and the only one that truly cares about my score is ME.

Right?

So why after 15.5 was I upset? This is the part that’s hard to admit. It’s hard to say out loud that you are disappointed in someone’s performance, even harder when that person is yourself. Now I can defend myself until I’m blue in the face. I can reassure myself I did my best, there’s no doubt I work hard but sometimes what you think is your best is NOT! I now get why there were some of you that redid workouts. I played it again and again in my head. If I had just taken the inhaler before the workout, if I had just not dropped the bar so many times, if I had just gotten angry!

why was I disappointed with 15 minutes?

If I had just pushed myself harder.

But guess what? That’s it. That’s what I learned with this workout. I can’t push myself, I mean, I can to an extent but I need someone to push me, often I need a shove. Sometimes I am too laid back with how I do things, I am too quick to say ” yes kelly you did a great job, ”  ” yes kelly your pace was good ” ” yes kelly you will get it tomorrow” “yes kelly you did your best ” and in the moment I probably did BUT I could’ve done better!

So with 15.5 I had enough of pleasing Kelly. I said ” F*** this Kelly, move faster ” too bad I said this after the workout which means I’m doing it again and I’m doing it under 15 minutes.

An hour goes by, I’m still in the gym & I’m ready to do it again! Before my adrenaline slows down and my mind starts reasoning with me. George thinks I’m crazy.

I’m ready but it will have to wait because I have to pick up my daughter from school and get back to ” life” outside that door.

Experiencing the open: 15.4- The Best Part!

Thursday 3/19/15

If you watched the live announcement of 15.4 I’m sure you were thinking ” what the …..!!” Not just with the way Dave announced the workout, the workout itself, but also with Bridges getting no repped like crazy and the serious distraction of Scott ( getting rep after rep, that is )

I loved Bridges face when Dave said push-ups? Then asks for a white board and says hand stand push ups but leaves all us scaled folks thinking we are doing push-ups and 85lb cleans!

What in the world?

Bridges, ( I mean, come on, the man is a machine )  is struggling with hitting a piece of tape on the wall while the whole Crossfitting community watches. I would love to know who thought of having these 2 athletes portray this workout- LIVE! It was comical to say the least. Glad these 2 are not only phenomenal athletes but also good sports!

What I did take away though is something Bridges said, which speaks volumes.

He said:

” Champions aren’t born out there on the floor,  they are born back in the room when no one is watching! If you can push thru those scenarios that’s how you become a champion”

Well said Josh. I just might make a t-shirt. You are so right!

Crossfit is a fight with myself, no one else. When I workout, who am I working for? Who am I trying to impress? No one but me! I am looking to be better then the me I was yesterday. That’s not happening when everyone’s looking , it’s happening when I’m loading my bar with weight, when I’m counting my reps, when I’m tracking my rounds. No one is doing that for me- it’s me being honest with me!

Its the score I put on the board, whether I am last or 2nd to last- I know how that workout went. No one else!

So your wondering, but Kelly how was 15.4?

Let’s answer the 1st question everyone wants to know the answer too.

Scaled? Or RX?

I hate making excuses so I am being honest here. The answer is scaled. I have NEVER attempted hand stand push ups up against the wall. The reason is that when we do wall walks and push ups upside down on the box, I am ready to throw up. I am dizzy and done for the day. Being upside down is just NOT my thing, after having 3 kids and rapidly approaching the age of 40, yeah upside down doesn’t work. So that’s my excuse! BUT no one ever succeeded with excuses. Therefore hand stand push ups will become my thing. Not right away, but you will absolutely see me doing wall walks and push ups upside down on boxes, even if it’s just 1 at a time. And in the future, I will be doing hand stand push ups. ( oh god! )

Friday 3/20

I stand before the bar- ( well 2 bars ) my workout is as follows:

8 min amrap: 10 push press 65lbs, 10 cleans 75lbs

Just to throw my 2 cents in here- why wasn’t the weight the same for both these movements? Then we could have used 1 bar and transitioned easier. Then again, I’m not Dave, there must be some method to his madness.

On paper this workout looks simple enough- my push press is like 120 and my clean is 135 so these are fairly light weights- right?

Yeah not so much!

We are right back to throwing weight over our head, remember that $20?

Why is it the moment before your about to start the fear factor and pee factor kick in?

Here we go!

10 push press- feels good!

10 cleans- oh god I keep cracking my chin w the bar!

I have to find a good comfortable place here, push presses I am getting thru 10 at a time. Sure as time goes on they get slower, but I have no need to actually put the bar down.

Cleans are actually awkward. I am just hitting my chin from pulling w gusto and the up and down is awkward. I want to move faster but I want to keep my teeth. I start dropping the bar and resetting.

I am almost giggling because the guy competing next to me is doing this workout RX and pulling 185lb cleans!! He’s motivating me to get serious and lift this bar over and over again. Even if it means banging my chin.

I finish with 101 reps, a total of 5 rounds plus 1.

I was hoping for 5 so I am happy to hit my goal. Of course I have to grab Lisa ( who is not only my judge, she’s my coach, & box owner ) to hug & kiss her. Finishing an open event just wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t lay one on Lisa with excitement!

Not just excitement about my score, because let’s be real, if I did 1 round and gave it my all, I would be excited, but excitement about finishing, period.

Did you see that? Did you see me finish? Who am I ?

I just finished an open workout for the 4th time with my coach as my judge. Really? Anyone else getting excited?

All those wods I’ve done in the past, counting for myself, tracking my rounds, all those me moments,  they all add up to this moment!

This moment of someone else counting for me, someone else tracking rounds, someone else pushing me, someone else cheering for me!

Come on! That’s the best part!

Experiencing the Open- week 3- Strength in the moment.

Monday 3/16

Last day to redo 15.3 , last day to get in your scores.

I entered my score Friday. I finished that workout happy with my performance and no intention to do that one again.

Competing in the open is testing me on so many levels. Standing before the pull-up bar, before the barbell, before that wall ball, all those moments test me. Literally my Crossfit career flashes before my eyes in those moments. Am I good enough? What the hell am I doing? Can I do this? Why am I doing this? What if I fail? What if I’m simply NOT good enough?

Lets be honest we all feel it, no matter our strength level, skill level or how much we train, we have all had these moments. Even if it is just a ” moment”

For me , yes it’s just a moment because when I hear “GO!” I do just that. I don’t linger in these thoughts. I just focus on my task at hand. Yeah maybe I am not good enough at something today but tomorrow I just might be. You really never know what may be right around the corner.

Whether your competing, doing a metcon, working on strength, or attempting something in your everyday normal life outside the box, guess what?

Its all about what you do in the moment.

It’s a never ending journey to be strong!

There is no end in sight.

Once I can do something or lift something, I just want to do it again, faster, heavier, better! I am done with being girly. I am not looking for skinny status, skinny arms, skinny legs, flat stomach? Not for me!

I am looking for Wonder Woman status!

Hulk status would be ideal!

I am looking for strong legs with BIG muscles! I am looking for strong arms with BIG muscles. You know the kind I can just walk around with, the kind that are just there all the time. The ones  I don’t have to flex to get ( I know your now giggling ) Permanent muscles. All day, everyday.

Being a part of the open has taught me that:

In the moment you can only be as good as you are, but in all other moments you can train to be better.

Experiencing the open- 15.3 on Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th!

Time to compete! ( again! )

Perhaps today’s date should’ve kept me in bed.

I get up, usual morning routine of getting 3 kids out the door, sneaking in a cup of

tea & a protein bar and I’m on my way!

This is just a workout, yes? Like any other day in the gym. The timer will go on and I will start.

So why am I so nervous? Palms sweaty? Have to pee numerous times?

I arrive.

Time to warm-up I am literally sweating and out of breath from the warm up.

But I am ready.

Pep talk from George ( my coach & judge ) some good advice on how to take this on. Workout consists of 50 wallballs with a 10# ball and 200 singles. You just keep going for 14 minutes to achieve as many rounds or reps as possible.

He tells me attempt 10 wall balls at a time- for every 10 drop the ball and reset. This is more a mental thing for me- I know physically I can throw this ball. Don’t forget to breathe and pace yourself. Singles I’m just going all in.

My inhaler is ready- on standby! Happy to say I haven’t had to use my inhaler since last summer for a workout. Seeing I don’t plan on stopping to breathe it’s a good idea to keep my inhaler close.

On paper this workout is easily do-able. I usually use a 14# ball for wallballs and recently I have been attempting a 20# ball in small increments. So right now 10# looks good.

I feel my jump roping is up to par. When I started Crossfit I couldn’t jump rope?

No really! Your laughing at me right now, aren’t you? I constantly would trip on the damn rope or I would do this weird double hop jump thing. I could never find a smooth transition.

It took me months to master singles never mind even attempting double unders. Almost 2yrs into Crossfitting & only now can I get a few double unders! Comical- I know!

I don’t even own my own jump rope- how embarrassing!

Another holy crap it happened during the open moment is :

Get a jump rope!

So with my coaches jump rope on the floor I am set to go!

3-2-1-go!

I’ve started and there’s no stopping now. This ball feels good. I find a good stand, my squats are below parallel, the ball is hitting the wall and hitting above my target. And my thumbs are in place! 10 at a time- then drop and reset. Every time I pick up the ball I tell  myself it’s only 10 more.

I hear “50! Good”

Onto singles- I’m moving I can’t hear counting so I’m going as fast as I can until I hear 200!

Back to the ball- it’s feeling a bit heavier now but I’m still working 10 at a time.

I get a no rep on my wallball- I laugh bc I don’t hit the wall- oops!

Stay focused Kelly! Each one has to count or it’s just a waste of energy!

” 50! Good”

back to jump rope

“50! Good!”

Back to jump rope!

” Time! ”

I grab my inhaler- yay I can breathe!

Yay it’s over!

( yay I can strangle that ball with the jump rope ) oh wait it’s not my jump rope or my ball so I will just be a lady and sit here.

I am done with 15.3!!

630 reps!

Theres definitely something so rewarding about your coach asking you to sign this little white slip with your score on it!

I want to sign it Strong Woman ( you know bc since day 1 this girl has been chasing the strong woman, she definitely showed her face today with these superior wall balls & I’m definitely throwing a 20lb ball more…….)  but I sign it Kelly.

Insert: Giggling 🙂

Experiencing the open- Week 3- The Worst Workout

Thursday 3/12

Kids in bed early. iPad charged. Cup of tea in hand.

Thursday nights are so exciting!

It’s 7:45 I am ready to hear what Dave has to say.

We are 3 weeks into the open!

Workout #3 is about to be announced.

The athletes competing tonight are Julie Foucher and Lauren Brooks. I probably don’t have to say alot about Julie Foucher, she’s a household name amongst cross fitters. As for Lauren Brooks, I would like to think she is a household name but I only started following her journey last year when she took 7th place at the games.

Of course I’m rooting for her tonight! She is a tank! She’s a bigger athlete, strong & solid! She’s also an everyday mom, with 2 children , runs a business, trains and obviously has survived on her love of this sport. Hence the reason, I am such a fan of Lauren.

I survive in this world of Crossfit only because my love for this sport is BIG.

I am not a professional cross fitter, I am not even “good” at many aspects of it, I don’t finish 1st in wods, I don’t lift the heaviest in the gym, BUT I LOVE being in the gym more then I can ever describe. My heart is in it, my mind is in it, & my body is catching up. I don’t mess around & I love pushing myself to see exactly what this 38 yr old woman can achieve!

I am constantly chasing the strong woman I am about to become.

8pm- Dave announces 15.3

Here we go:

14 min amrap:

7 muscle ups/ 50 wall balls/ 100 double unders

Scaled: 50 wall balls/ 200 singles

I’m pretty sure every athlete competing let out a sigh of frustration.

Lauren’s face said it all. The 2 ladies went head to head.

Man up, woman up, muscle up! Julie muscled her way past Lauren.

Time to come up with my own plan of attack.

On paper this workout looks simple enough.

Which is why this may be the worst workout yet?