Our bodies are ever changing. If your like me you can look one way on Monday and another by Friday. I feel the need to talk with you about being fat, feeling fat, looking fat, and everything in between. I need to voice my opinion as a mom, a woman in her late thirties, a wife, a friend, and an avid crossfitter. Remember this is only my opinion and thanks for reading.
1 year ago, I stepped on the scale weighing in at 165. I am 5’7 (for all those asking the question, hmmm I wonder how tall she is? ) A year prior I weighed in at 163. When I first started Crossfit that was my weight, so my 1st year of Crossfit I gained 2lbs. Oh God! I gained weight but my body shrunk. In my head I felt like I lost 20lbs, my body changed a lot. Then my second year of crossfit, my confidence increased, I was hungry to learn and to do more.I wanted & needed to be in the gym, I asked a lot of questions and bothered a lot of people. For the past year I have been training 5x a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I’ve been on and off macros, trying to find the perfect balance between working out, resting, eating, socializing, raising 3 kids, and living normal daily life.
I’ve eaten a lot of salads and a lot of cupcakes.
So 2 years of Crossfit and here I am , I weigh 170lbs!! Yup you read that right, so much hardwork to have it all ruined by gaining weight. What a disappointment. I might as well call it a day, go back to eating lettuce and water, run on a treadmill for hours, starve myself ( you know you have all done it ). 2 years of Crossfit has done nothing for me, right? What a failure I am at 170lbs!
WRONG!!!
Hardwork is not defined by your weight, let’s be real it’s not even defined by the way you look! You are a work in progress. Just because I weigh more than you, have stretch marks ,have cellulite and love cupcakes does not mean I don’t work hard.
I have to be honest that I hate the number 170, and I hate that I hate it. Really, who cares what you weigh, I honestly don’t care what your weight is so why do I care what you think about mine. I would love to have that number be lower, who wouldn’t? But this is where I need to be honest with myself. That number has been lower, as much as 50lbs lower, and guess what? Even then I still thought I was fat!!
So here’s WHY I love weighing in at 170:
I am celebrating 2years of Crossfit ( some people don’t come back after the 1st month bc they don’t think they are good enough, let me tell you-YOU are good enough )
I have surpassed 600 workouts of the day which means I have walked thru the doors of the gym 100’s of times. ( I have tracked every workout since day 1 Yup I’m proud of this and believe everyone should track their workouts )
I have never made an excuse to skip the gym.
I can do push-ups-REAL , like a man push-ups ( and a lot of them ).
I can do pull-ups! Yes real ones. No assistance, REAL, rip my hands pull-ups.
I can get my toes to touch the bar and my knees to touch my elbows.
I can Deadlift, squat, clean and snatch. ( & I do it with a smile on my face, I never smiled on the damn treadmill )
Last year, I was still discovering my strength, this year I found it. I wear shorts in public, not because I look good but because I feel good about it. These legs work hard, and it’s damn hot out right now. I don’t care what your legs look like so why do I care what you think of mine?
I get it, at the end of the day, Crossfit is just exercise.
Really that’s all it is. But for me,
It is exercise that has built my body to be strong,
It is exercise that has changed the way I look at women’s bodies, especially my own.
It is exercise that has encouraged me to love myself and know I am worth it.
It is exercise that inspires me to work hard , what I do in the gym, I carry over into life.
It is exercise that has shown me I am worth more then the number on the scale, I am worth more then the size of my jeans, I am worth more then the size of my shirt, I am worth more then my styled hair and lip gloss color, I am worth more then the pocketbook I carry or don’t carry, I am worth more then the salad I choose to eat and that cupcake.
I am worth more then the way I look.
It is exercise that gives me purpose and allows me to be Kelly.
Just Kelly.
Crossfit has shown me , I am strong beyond the barbell.